Thursday, April 4, 2013

Ten Things I Hate About Craigslist:


Craigslist is the 8th most visited site on the Internet. Every month, more than 50 million new classified ads are published that are responsible for more than 20 billion page views. Not bad for a website site that is, for lack of a better word, antiquated.

Unfortunately, what stared out as an innocent online community has been perverted into a poor mans social network, where anonymity is king and garbage can be posted to millions - no profile or credit card required.

At the risk of being ostracized from my ever decreasing audience, here are the Ten Things I Hate About Craigslist:

10. It's Free. 

Except for a few select categories in a few cites Craigslist doesn't cost a single dime. Which is great when you have to sell something fast to raise money for crack. I wonder if all the people who are currently abusing Craigslist would still place their mis-categorized /bogus /bullshit ads if they had to fork out a few dollars. We know the answer to that don't we.

9. It Helps Facilitate Criminal Activity.

In the olden days criminals were forced to lurk in dark alleys and wait for their victim to come along that was unfortunate to cross their paths. Today, the scum of society can target their victims from the comfort of their own home by luring them with bogus items for sale... i.e. Shawn Williams.

8. The Discussion Forums Suck

It's amazing what people will say when they can remain completely anonymous. How many times can you use the word Fucktard? Is that even a word? I didn't know the trailer park had WI-FI.

7. It's a Spam Magnet

It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests means exactly that! Go buy a list from a broker and stop using Craigslist as your lead source! If you want to make money using Craigslist take out an ad in the services offered section that reads I Sell Weed - Free delivery Michael @555-1212.

6. Resume Phishing

Scan through the job ads and you will find several postings from "employers" that have the perfect job opening. Everything you would possibly want to know about this amazing position is covered in the posting EXCEPT where you should apply. They want you to email your resume for consideration.

The "employer" is actually two guys from Nigeria who are attempting to gather as much sensitive data that they can from the resume you just emailed them. Take my advice - Never reply to a blind ad on CL. A real employer wants you to apply in person so they can see how much of a dumb-ass you are.

5. It's Outdated In Appearance
From a design standpoint, Craigslist is a very simple website that looks pretty much the same way it did a decade ago. Maybe that's because they realized the majority of their users might become dazed and confused by something as complex as colors and pictures.

4. No Account Required To Reply To Ads.

Craigslist offers email anonymization & relay, to reduce 3rd party harvesting & spam, but punk-ass spammers can still contact poster through their anonymous email. This makes Craigslist NO SPAM POLICY a mute point.

Everyone should be required to register with Craigslist to reply to an ad via email, this will eliminate a significant amount of spam that Craigslist is responsible for.

3. Make Me An Offer

Sellers should be required to set a price for the items they are selling. Ads that read TV for Sale - Make Offer, should not be allowed. If you want to have an auction go to eBay. Which, by the way, owns 25% of Craigslist.

2. Two Words Adult Services

This is an actual ad that was posted on Craigslist in Milwaukee:

 Justa girl - w4m (mil) call 414-555-1234.
(Sorry Sugar Daddies, The Number is Fake)



If this isn't an ad for a prostitute - I don't know what is.  This ad also falls into my sellers should be required to set a price for their item(s) category.

Note: The fee for posting ads in the adult services category is $10, which makes Craigslist, in essence, a pimp. Craigslist claims it started the adult services section because prostitutes were posting on other parts of the site. This way, they said they can better allow law enforcement to monitor illegal activity, while making it harder to find a roofer who gives hand jobs.

1. Craigslist still uses a ".org" domain.

Craigslist was incorporated as a for-profit in 1999 but still uses a ".org" domain because they claim it symbolizes the relatively non-commercial nature, public service mission, and non-corporate culture of craigslist.

Maybe if they would take the time to stop bull-shitting themselves and run Craigslist like a business they could have a truly valuable piece of cyber space, instead of a meet and greet for hookers, junkies, and cyber-stalkers. Just a little tip - take it or leave it.

And there you have it!

Now if I have offended any die-hard Cl loyalists, don't worry -I'll get over it.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Day Late And A Dollar Short


A You Tube user by the name of GreatUncleKevin who created a Michael Jackson Parody video sent me this message regarding my Michael Jackson Parody:Video:

"Friggin thief! You stole this idea from my mix I did 3 years ago. Nice try. At least you did add some stuff I didn't have the first round."

For a comedian there is no greater insult than to be called a thief. This is why I don't watch other comedians on Television. God forbid one of them has a joke similar to one of mine. The discovery of a similar premise in my routine might cast doubt on the integrity of my entire routine. What would I do then? What would Carlos Mencia do?


Let me give you some advice Kevin. There's Hack and then there's Thief. Let me explain the difference to you. Hack is when two comics have a similar idea about a joke i.e. How men and women are different, or Black people are like this...White people are like this.. get the drift? It falls under the domain of great minds think alike or what else are we supposed to talk about.

Nobody stole your idea Uncle Kevin because your idea sucked! My version was much better.Your version is a second rate knock off at best. And it's so convenient to say you had this idea three years ago. Which by the way, my video was uploaded more than a year prior to yours! It's not stealing if the idea was in your head.

I know how you feel! You spent countless hour developing an idea you thought would be so controversial it would propel you to over night fame. The reality is nobody cares, the rather watch Fred or The Annoying Orange than waste their time on a Michael Jackson joke that was shoddily produced more than a year after his death. To steal a quote from you "Nice try!"

If you want to be famous I suggest you video tape yourself lighting one of your farts or kicking one of your friends in the balls- that's what the people want... And by the way you're a hack! Welcome to the club.

Michael Hoffmann's Parody




Unce Kevin's Parody



Post your comments on who had the better idea.